My father was what he called a half-assed Catholic. I never knew him to go to church but he clung enough to his religion to want a priest when he died. (That didn't happen because he was already dead when Mom found him but we did have a priest speak at his service).
Mom was raised as what she called a Shoutin' Baptist but she had no belief that I knew of. She was, however, something of a Bible scholar. I still have her 23 Bibles - Catholic, Protestant, Amish, Jewish, the Book of Mormon, King James, the Living Bible. People came to her when they had Bible questions. She liked to compare one to the other to see where they differed.
My family paid lip service to sending us to church but they weren't "religious" about it. We were mostly Christmas and Easter Catholics. I don't think any of us were ever baptized.
Most of our folks leaned toward believing in reincarnation, which doesn't necessarily conflict with being a Christian. I think my mother had read everything that had ever been written about it and there is some pretty persuasive evidence for anyone who cares to look. I mostly favor it because it makes an on-going learning process in which you have the opportunity to grow and improve rather than the single roll of a roulette wheel.
"Hey, lucky you, you're Ivanka Trump."
"Hey, you're a black girl in a ghetto being raised by a crack whore. Sorry about your luck."
Several members of my family were psychic. Again, I know many people think this is all hogwash but if you'd seen some of the things I saw, you'd have a hard time simply dismissing it out of hand.
I consider myself an agnostic. I just say I don't know and I don't think anyone else does either. Devout people all believe they know the answers but what religion you are is mostly a product of your environment. If you were raised in America, especially 70 years ago when I was, you're most likely a Christian but if you'd been born in India, you probably be just as passionately attached to Hinduism or depending on your place of birth, to Buddhism or Islam or whatever.
Lots of people have told me they are praying for me. Some, who know I don't share their beliefs, ask if I care.
I tell them, "of course, I don't care. I welcome any gesture of kindness and concern."
I do have many questions about how they think it works though and I never get any satisfactory answers.
Number one is how their God decides. People on Facebook are always asking for prayer and if everything works out, they then say God hears us and answers our prayers. But, of course, we know he doesn't answer everyone prayers. Your neighbor's child dies of leukemia; your aunt's child is mangled in a war; your co-workers child is killed in a car wreck. Did they not pray hard enough? Did they not have enough friends praying for them on Facebook? Is it all arbitrary, like God's lottery?
In the Catholic church crucifixion scenes are everywhere. When I was a kid, I thought they were creepy and I still do. Did it truly make people happy and grateful to see an agonized man hanging on a cross? What would you think if your best friend said, "I love you so much, I'm going to kill my child for you." Would you think that was proof of true love or would you think he was crazy? It always seemed brutal and cruel to me. What kind of God would do that? If love means crucifying a man on a cross, please don't do me any favors.
I don't believe in a devil and I don't believe in hell. Again, what kind of god would punish his "children's" mistakes by throwing them in a burning inferno - not for a day or a week or a month, but forever? I can't believe in that God.
I always hear people on television say, "I never would have made it through without my faith."
Yes, you would. I took care of my mother with dementia for 2 1/2 years. Shortly after she died, I lost my son to a heroin overdose. Those were tough times. And you know what? I made it through about as well as anyone can. You know why? Because, unless you're going to kill yourself, you keep putting one foot in front of the other and carrying on.
Religious people think I have no faith but that's not true. I have faith that if you're as good and generous and kind as you know how to be, it doesn't matter what you believe. You'll either go to heaven with the god you believe in or you'll go to a spiritual world to evaluate how you lived and prepare to return or everything will just go black. I'm content with any of those scenarios.
No comments:
Post a Comment